Sunday, June 24, 2012

Few months ago I shared this with a cousin and after reading what I had to say she suggested me to start a blog in order to share it with more people by which I could get a broader point of view. At first I did not consider it but now as I am more focused about what I want to pursue I thought of telling the tale as there are many students like me who are still not satisfied with their finding. It might be able to help someone out unconsciously and if not then nothing lost!

I wrote:

RE: Sharing it with you as I think that you might understand and have something good to say! If not then I don’t mind being disappointed anyway..

My mom says, people who cry are weak and can never do any good with their lives, whereas I think it’s better to let it out and say goodbye to your worries with your tears and take the next step! It makes one feel a lot lighter.
This might sound unlike and unwise of me but I’m not sure of myself for the past few days, might be weeks or months.. I guess I’m in a phase of self-discovery. I don’t want to whine about my state of mind  to anyone so I left my friends out of the box and just kept telling them that I’ve made plans whenever they  ask me something related to it.
I often complain and cry in front of my mother, she tries to cheer me up and talk sense into me but it just do little good as I think I need a constant source of motivation for my actions.
I want to unleash my thoughts for once in a proper way. I want the blankness in my head to go away. For once I want to know what is best for me and want pleasure with my finding. I want to discover my true-self so that I can know what I will love doing for the rest of my life without getting bored by it. Something that never makes me tired even after hours of working, something I’ll make a name with and most of all something that defines me and my values.
I don’t know if I’m suppose to discover it myself or need someone to guide me through. Only if I could see a clearer path, things would’ve been so much simpler and easier.
I read motivational articles, watch inspirational videos, all of them have the same message and that is to work hard because except for the dictionary one would never find success before work but the deal is; WORK HARD FOR WHAT?!
Media studies? Communication design? Bscs? Architecture? What?!
I have doubts that need clarification. It’s a problem that most of our youth faces and at the end they end up doing something and having an ordinary life. I don’t want that ordinary life and career!
I don’t mind trying and failing but at least I should have a goal so that achieving it even after failing for the umpteenth time, makes me feel proud and dignified!
Makes me yell that, I’VE ACHIEVED SOMETHING! And that something should be what I always dreamt of having.
P.S: The journey continues!

17th January 2015: Time indeed flies and I think it is time I continue what I started two years back.